Seeker Of Secrets T-Shirts

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

A magician walks through a door with a sign on it Society Of Magicians.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

New York Netherworld

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"That book is kept downstairs in the Big Secret Important Book Room."

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

Rudolph Gets Even - "Reindeer Games - Their seedy underground activities finally revealed."

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

Reading the Leaves.

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

'Oh I've always been a sceptic, through all my past lives.'

"Live your life devoid of attachments."

'I met that handsome, exciting stranger you warned me about...Now, I want you to tell me when I'll meet him again...'

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

Writer to Acquisitions Editor: 'Yes, I'm greatly influenced by others' writings ... particularly checks written by editors.'