Sedentary Lifestyle Champion Gifts

"Retirement"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"We need to walk."

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

We never fly anywhere anymore.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

Tapping the worlds toxic substances

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

"We were worried about the carbon footprint from the charcoal - so we converted it to wind power."

'Believe me, you don't need blood from that farmer back there, unless you like getting sick. Look at this organic guy here. This is what we need.'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Healthy Ultimatum

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'

"For the last time, stop saying 'Let's just wing it'!"

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

'Eat your purples!'

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"