Security Guards Gifts

"It's a break!"

Night-shift entrance

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

Mouse shopping after hours

Job Vacancy: Supermarket Security Man - Applicant Must be...Middle-Aged, Overweight, Sweaty, Ineffectual.

"No, it's not by Jackson Pollock, it's actually a Rembrandt. This gallery just has really inattentive security attendants.

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"He likes it."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

High security Santa's grotto

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I need to know who started it."

TSA Noah

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

The Scanner Of Love.

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Scarecrows guarding a field

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'