Security Officers Gifts

"It's a serious security breach, Haskins, they're still sneaking guns and drugs into accounting."

"Do we allow a potential terrorist on board, or do we get sued silly for discriminating against the body mass index-challenged?"

Airport Security.

"Technically, he has enough flyer miles."

"Such a shame Leon had to rush off so soon after suggesting that we put the customers needs ahead of our own."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"He's a guard dog."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

TSA Noah

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

Privacy Conference Security

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"Beware of Don"

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."