Security Commentators Gifts

Airport. If you see something, tweet something. Security has taken a strange turn.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pretty Flowers

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Cartoonist thinking'

How logos change over time.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"Neversource"

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Why Superman flies himself

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Sir Patrick Moore.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

NHS Stabbing Ward

Self Checkout

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."