World Commentators Gifts

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

Why Superman flies himself

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"Neversource"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

The United States of Amazement

Self Checkout