Commentary Analyst Gifts

Primetime Minister

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

"Can you hear me now?"

And now, for a rebuttal.

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

Virginia Foxx Caricature

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

The United States of Amazement

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

"This is gonna be great!"