Social Commentators Gifts

Performance figures.

Stay the course.

"Jason, I'd like to let you play, but soccer is a girls' game."

'I begun like you, with nothing but my bare hands. Look at me now! Only 25 years later, I'm begging with my own hat! Geez, I love this country! Everybody can make it here!'

"You're white.You don't understand my culture."

Museum Displays a Brain as a Critical Thinking Machine.

'I envy your metabolism.'

'A cardboard box in the Hamptons...That's the American dream!'

"Well, so long, Eddie. The recession's over."

'Just remember, the dessert is mine!'

Burying our heads in the sand

"Designer babies! What will they think of next?"

"Community service? You mean around regular people?"

'Obese Children' road sign outside school

"Remember when everything used to be so nice and solid?"

"When I see how much it costs to keep someone in prison every year, I'm glad I don't pay any taxes."

"Sunscreen? You're afraid of sunburn? Real protesters set themselves ablaze for what they believe in!"

'Is it a boy or a girl? We're going to wait for it to grow up and then decide for itself.'

'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'

'These drug tests, they're be absolutely confidential, right? I don't want any rumors spread about me.'

'Bad news Fred. They're stopping my incapacity benefit.'

'Mummy...what is that...?'

New Man Offenses

'Sorry folks; economics forced a change of venue.'

Bag lady with toxic medical waste

The Devil's Workshop

"Marry you?�Don't be so deeply unfashionable."

Seating arrangements.

People starving in the world but never a shortage of liquor.

Gen Y Elevator

Cops at domestic scene with the Hickenloopers.

"And this next one - is this the kind of racism that advances my career or ends it?"

"We're hoping to get some lottery money to fund some gambling support groups!"

"Of course, it helped that my father was also a king."

'So...you ever been to a soup kitchen?'