Securities Analysis Gifts

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The Anti-Agent

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Cut Price

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Will work for ETFs

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'The recession is over, again.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.