Seasonal Wit Gifts

'Is it hot or just me? My pop-up thermometer just popped.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

The Frankenstein snowman.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

'It's a snow mobile.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I love this time of year."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"You have ice water in your veins."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"You've got to learn to let go."

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

Christmas Socks

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

Snowman Romance

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"Did you get some work done?"

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."