Seasonal Wit Gifts

'Is it hot or just me? My pop-up thermometer just popped.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

The Frankenstein snowman.

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I love this time of year."

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

'It's a snow mobile.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"You have ice water in your veins."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"You've got to learn to let go."

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

"Did you get some work done?"

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Christmas Socks

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

Snowman Romance