Seasonal Detective Gifts

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

A boy acting suspiciously

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Easter Egg Delivery

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Who stole my candy?

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

Violence on TV.

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

'First snowdrop.'

'My goodness, is it fall already, Ms. Smyrka?'

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"Dad can we stop pushing this backdrop and go on a real vacation?"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

Who's ready for pumpkin spice season?

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

Leaves falling on a desert crawling man.

'I hear there are some mighty big deer in these woods.'

Summer Reads - Fall Reads!

Camp Games

'Some buck lure this is. I drank three bottles and haven't seen one buck.'

"Check out this app. It let's you substitute other vegetables for your nose."

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

'I think we should stop following these $100 bills. I'm beginning to think the deer know we're here, and they're setting us up.'

"When Santa went electric they either diversified or got furloughed."

"I ran out of vacation days, so I didn't fly south this winter."