Vacation Detectives Gifts

"Dad can we stop pushing this backdrop and go on a real vacation?"

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Violence on TV.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

A captive bear is very compliant for a photo opportunity.

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

"Perhaps you slept SLOWER than usual..."

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

Department of Dream Studies

"Well, of course my DNA was found at the scene, it's Christmas Eve!"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Missing

'The nap is left to right just short of the fairy castle.'

'It never fails: The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.'

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

Flea Market