Vacation Detectives T-Shirts

"Dad can we stop pushing this backdrop and go on a real vacation?"

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Violence on TV.

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

A captive bear is very compliant for a photo opportunity.

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

"Did you get the Gundersons' pics of their Caribbean cruise?"

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

You Always Get to Be the Good Guy

"Perhaps you slept SLOWER than usual..."

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"Well, of course my DNA was found at the scene, it's Christmas Eve!"

Department of Dream Studies

"Hey! Is that a tiny speaker making ocean noises, and a little camera?"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

A recent scientific study has concluded that toast and marmalade may be hazardous to your health.

'It never fails: The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.'

'The nap is left to right just short of the fairy castle.'

Missing