Seashell Collector Gifts

'Oh... and this one sounds like a huge wave!'

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

Naval intelligence.

'I hear a tiny voice complaining about global warming.'

'For x-rated ocean roars, call 900-SEX-1234...'

Shell leaving a trail.

Man walking down the beach with a phone to one ear and a shell to the other.

Cell Phone on Beaches

'Welcome to the sounds of the ocean. Listen carefully as our menu options have changed. To continue in Spanish, press one now...'

"Hey, can you turn that thing down?!"

"Do you get unlimited talk, text and data with that?"

"You are in a queue please leave a message."

Shellfie

"Before the sound of lapping water commences please confirm your bank details."

Long walks on the beach. . . after 15 years of marriage.

"The moment of peaceful ocean sounds has been brought to you by. . . !"

"Hold this seashell your ear and you can hear the sea...!"

Shell Pods

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Shelling doesn't get much better than this, Helen."

Sunk by low sales, she now sells seashells by the tea store.

'I can hear the sea.'

Talking seashell

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

'Great! Now they're putting SPAM into seashells!'

'It says 'The tide is out. At the beep, leave a message'.'

'Weird! -- It sounds like Don Imus.'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

The Ultimate Beginner's Board

"We are experiencing unusually high call volumes. Your estimated wait time is twenty minutes."

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

A man listens to a conch and another watches the game

"Hey- you can actually hear the ocean better if you put the shell down."

Try me/try me/try me...

'It must be the dead sea.'