Seabird Enthusiast Gifts

'Now I wish we hadn't eaten that albatross.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Spring Training

Canada Goose Jackets

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'