Seabird Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Now I wish we hadn't eaten that albatross.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'You know too much!'

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Pigeon Little

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

Canada Goose Jackets

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Spring Training

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'