Sea Life Stargazer Gifts

Guide to astronomical marine life.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'I blame global warming!'

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

Turtle Hat

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'No, they're not my children. They gave me these for doing a good job at work.'

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

How Swordfish Are Born

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

'You've changed since we got married.'

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'Dude, someone put a sign on your front.'

'Your secondhand smoke is giving the hermit crab a hacking cough!'