Sculpture Sleuth T-Shirts

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"Outré or simply bad?"

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

'Dog got your clog?'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'It says the artist got the idea while indulging in one of his hobbies.'

"Wow! You mean they got all of this in exchange for just one van Gogh?"

'You must have something in my size?'

'I can't take anymore, Gladys - I'm asking for a transfer to pottery !'

Baroque

'He followed me home, Dad. Can I keep him?'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"He fought like hell."

The Forensic Paleontologist

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

'No, not that! Look over there - I've invented Modern Art.'

Rodin's Faulty Light Bulb

'Cops and Rubbers.'

Two men trout fishing

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

'I really don't see the point?'