Scriptural Satirist Gifts

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

''Lilith'? - I don't remember authorizing any LILITH!'

God's Proofreader

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

The ten ammendments

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Bishops Snooker

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

'Even More Disciples'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside