Biblical Satirists Gifts

"Nice one Solly, but it's a word of mouth campaign"

If Noah Had Been a Member of FEMA.

2Oh, that's a money tree. They're all over Eden."

"Yes, but while we're here, why don't we do the Greek Islands?"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Well, we needed the rain."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

The Older Testament: An Origin Story

"It's got 128 KB of Ram, 64 KB or Rom, and a spell checker for when you invent writing."

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

The ten ammendments

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

Cheap Labour Countries.