Biblical Satirists Gifts

"Nice one Solly, but it's a word of mouth campaign"

If Noah Had Been a Member of FEMA.

2Oh, that's a money tree. They're all over Eden."

"Yes, but while we're here, why don't we do the Greek Islands?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Well, we needed the rain."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

The Older Testament: An Origin Story

"It's got 128 KB of Ram, 64 KB or Rom, and a spell checker for when you invent writing."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"