Divine Satirists Gifts

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

'Read that last part back to me.'

How's my sermon. . .

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

Bishops Snooker