Divine Satirists Gifts

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

'Read that last part back to me.'

Bishops Snooker

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."