Divine Satirist Gifts

'As it turned out, I was in the group that received nothing but a placebo the whole time.'

You Are Entering God's Country. A Pearly-Gated Community.

The wages of sin is death! 'Boy, sinners must have a TERRIBLE union!'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"Welcome to heaven! Will that be cash or credit?"

"Ooh, get the quantum theorist hiding behind that tree."

"Somehow I thought we'd be done with all that."

2pm meet your Creator

Heaven under new management

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

Warning: This planet may not be suitable for viewing by some angels.

'My son was nailed to the cross and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

God and the covid mask...

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Priest's 'To do' list.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Night-time halo

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"OMG, LOL!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'