Spiritual Satirists Gifts

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'The father the son and the holy spirit split.'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

'No, anything not specifically prohibited is NOT necessarily okay!'

"Your husband is telling you not to come here anymore because, 'this so-called spiritualist is a phoney'!"

how's my flying..?

"We've made contact. Here's a tweet from your late husband."

'Contemplate this summons.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

'Scram! -- I don't endorse candidates!'

Welcome to Hell: God still loves you. He's just not IN love with you.

Outsourcing.

'Unlike me, seek financial peace first, before inner peace.'

Blessed are those who hunger, for they are sticking to their diet plan.

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Noah Mishears God's Instruction...

'They've been relocated because hell is full.'

"For someone who's supposed to be omniscient, I've noticed he calls all the new guys 'buddy.'"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Priest's 'To do' list.

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'