Heavenly Satirists Gifts

Do it right the first time.

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"We only got six days of funding."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

The Adventures of God

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Divine Desk Bins

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'