Heavenly Humorists Gifts

'Yes, we even have shoe shopping. We just refer to it as 'sole' searching.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"But stay off the couch."

'When I type in your name plus sin, sir, there are over twenty million results.'

"Smoking or non-smoking?"

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

Angels looking down from a cloud "It's when it comes to the contesting of the will that you find out who your friends were."

A stranger in paradise.

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'It was an incredibly healing experience, but somehow, I still wound up dead!'

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

Two angels walking their clouds.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

'So, you didn't get to die with dignity. Who does? I choked to death on a bag of marshmallows, while sitting in a bathtub full of hot chocolate.'

"Yes, I must admit I've done rather well here."

Existing for eternity - a fate worse than death

'The big guy wants to see you.'

"Swag."

Maybe you should have called them "The Ten New Year's Resolutions" --- that way they might have lasted at least a couple of weeks.

'Oh dear. I don't know a soul.'

"Reason for return?"

'I still have trouble sleeping. I thought when I died I could rest in peace.'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"And if I didn't bring my co-pay."

'Limbo allows us time to get all the paperwork done.'

"That brings us to your search history."

Visual Gag Angels happily playing a game of Quoits with their HalosHaloes

'Charging station.'

"Turn off your halo! We need to save energy!"

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

"Due to a mixup in the paperwork you've been sent to doggie heaven."