Heavenly Comedian Gifts

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

The Adventures of God

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'