Heaven Humorist Gifts

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

'Feel free to smoke anywhere you want - everyone here's already dead anyway.'

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''

'Somehow I thought it was somewhat different!'

'His is a sad story.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

Pearly Gates Queue

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Local News in Heaven