Heaven Gate Humorist Gifts

'According to this, in 2009, you mailed your Christmas cards two days before Christmas!'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

The Adventures of God

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Halo Frisbee.

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.