Heaven Gate Humorist Gifts

'According to this, in 2009, you mailed your Christmas cards two days before Christmas!'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

Halo Frisbee.

'Look man, no wings!'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.