Holy Humorists Gifts

The Bible, signed copy.

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

"...Can you please put a couple of pounds on the Bishop of London in the Canterbury race?"

'Glory be! Father Ignatius has been enabled.'

'No, anything not specifically prohibited is NOT necessarily okay!'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

'You were in the mafia? Sorry, admission denied - on orders of the Pope.'

"No! It's lo! (as in behold) - not lol Laughing Out Loud!"

"I didn't say, 'Simon says'..."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Night-time halo

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

The Adventures of God

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"OMG, LOL!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'