Holiness Humorists Gifts

"I could be a saint if I really wanted to."

"We only got six days of funding."

Ice Cream Surgeon

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

Night-time halo

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

The Adventures of God

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Divine Desk Bins

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.