Holiness Humorist Gifts

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

Ice Cream Surgeon

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

Night-time halo

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"All we have left is standing room only."

The Adventures of God

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'