Holiness Humorist Pillows

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"We only got six days of funding."

Ice Cream Surgeon

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Night-time halo

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'