Holiness Humorists Pillows

"I could be a saint if I really wanted to."

"We only got six days of funding."

Ice Cream Surgeon

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Night-time halo

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"All we have left is standing room only."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Divine Desk Bins

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'Look man, no wings!'