Screen Door Ponderer Gifts

Cat and Squirrel on Screen Door.

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Robot Attack in Bath

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

Fish Food

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"They're some kind of robot, perhaps artificially intelligent."

"I want my job back."

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

'I bark, therefore I am.'