Outdoor Ponderer Gifts

"I wasn't getting any work done at home, so I thought I'd try somewhere hot, bright and uncomfortable."

Wildlife

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

Ricochet

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

"And, yet another plus, it will block out the sun's harmful ultraviolet rays from a considerable portion of the city."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

Formula.

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"We should've stayed on land, and grown feet and kicked ass."

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'