Outdoor Parks Ponderer Gifts

"Excuse me, but are you going to pick up after your dog?"

Wildlife

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

Beginning Yarder.

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Ricochet

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"It's nice to see John finally relaxing."

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."