Scratch Tickets Gifts

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

Need tickets.

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

Solar Storm Expected!

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

'You do nice work!'

Dozens of parking tickets under windscreen wipers. Woman passenger says: 'It might be time to give the windscreen a wipe.'

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

Inserts

"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"

"You're in the upper, upper, UPPER balcony."