Scratch Cards Gifts

'Oh yeh, Trev's still trying to scratch a living.'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Bingo night.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Worm Bed

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

"The dollar held its value today against the yen, the euro, the peso, the comic book and the baseball card."

'I think I'll raise.'

Magicians monkey.

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

High Stakes Texas Hold 'Em

Valentines for Things

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

Cheese Call Center

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

Killing time, and vice versa....

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

'Never say, 'but everyday is children's day!' '

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

Hockney by the Pool

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'