Cards Gifts

Bingo night.

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

Beware of poker-playing dog

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

Cards: Get Well Get hit by a Bus

Killing time, and vice versa....

Bob knew it was over when she stopped returning his calls. Still, the card was a nice touch.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'My former husband is remarrying and I'm looking for something in a sympathy card for his new wife.'

'Grandma would love to hear about your home run, Ryan...right after the flop.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Why 25% of greeting card writers don't make the grade...

'He was wearing his heart on his sleeve.'

'I can't see a damn thing -- can you tell me what I've got?'

'Never say, 'but everyday is children's day!' '

"There's Aunt Gladys, waiting for her thank you card."

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'

Valentines for Things

'If life is a game, how come I never get jacks or better?'

"Lovely card. Pity we don't know anyone who's ill."

Queen of Spades

Your Pizza won't be long...but it will be round.

'No, your aunt didn't leave you anything but, if you play your cards right, you could still come into some money.'

Greeting cards for street crazies.

Leprosy Casino Lounge

Cheese Call Center

'Apparently, it takes jacks or better to open.'

'Do you have a Birthday card that smells - It's for my horrible little brother.'

Man plays poker against a TV set. Woman says: 'I had no idea this interactive TV stuff worked both ways.'

Magicians monkey.

Card with crossed out spellings of Chanukah.

'I think I'll raise.'

Wild Bill Hicock was able to earn a nice living playing cards with illerates....

"Had a great meeting with my new therapist. He even wanted to play cards, but said he couldn't find a full deck."