Scratch Card Collector Gifts

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

"It appears to be an instant lottery ticket. Try not to scratch it."

Thank you bubbles

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"Have you been scratching this?"

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Red Card - Gold Card.

Card shark

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

Never date a medical illustrator.

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Who Typexed out the grass?

Over the Hill Birthday Cards

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'Occassional cards'

Greeting Cards

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'