Scratch Card Collector Pillows

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

"It appears to be an instant lottery ticket. Try not to scratch it."

Thank you bubbles

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"Have you been scratching this?"

Red Card - Gold Card.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Card shark

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

Never date a medical illustrator.

Who Typexed out the grass?

'Occassional cards'

Greeting Cards

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'Do you have one that comes with a disclaimer?'