Collecting Scratch Cards Gifts

"Have you been scratching this?"

"It appears to be an instant lottery ticket. Try not to scratch it."

Thank you bubbles

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

Red Card - Gold Card.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Card shark

Happy Valentine's Day

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

Greeting Cards

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

'Occassional cards'

Never date a medical illustrator.

Over the Hill Birthday Cards

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'Do you have one that comes with a disclaimer?'

'Our flight will be delayed a little long, but in the mean time the flight attendants will be offering post cards to send to your friends and family members.'