Scrap Collector Gifts

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Instant art

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

The dead sea scrolls

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

Edmund Spenser

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

Ship in a Bottle

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

The traveling Yard Sale.

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

"Car Boot Sale" at motor salvage depot.

'Oh yeah! I guess you think your barge doesn't stink.'

"Hey, dump that in the East River where it belongs."

Witness Protection Program

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

'True, I don't know a lot about art, but junk, I know!'

Scavenging in the Recycling Bin

An astronaut finds an abandoned shopping cart on the moon

Where There's Muck There's Brass.

Garbage is a collector's item.

Plogging Marathon

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

"One day Son all this will be yours."