Scrap Collector T-Shirts

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Instant art

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

The dead sea scrolls

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

Ship in a Bottle

Edmund Spenser

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"Car Boot Sale" at motor salvage depot.

The traveling Yard Sale.

That's right. These plastic recycling bins are made to last thousands of years.

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

'Oh yeah! I guess you think your barge doesn't stink.'

"Hey, dump that in the East River where it belongs."

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

Witness Protection Program

'True, I don't know a lot about art, but junk, I know!'

Plogging Marathon

An astronaut finds an abandoned shopping cart on the moon

Scavenging in the Recycling Bin

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

Where There's Muck There's Brass.

Garbage is a collector's item.