Junk Collector Gifts

"One day Son all this will be yours."

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'True, I don't know a lot about art, but junk, I know!'

"Well sold all OUR junk - he bought all this new junk off the table next door."

The traveling Yard Sale.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

Utility Chic.

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

"He thinks he's located a World War I torpedo boat. What's exciting at your house?"

'What training do I get?'

"Hey, dump that in the East River where it belongs."

'Oh yeah! I guess you think your barge doesn't stink.'

We live in a cancel culture? Somebody needs to tell this magazine's subscription department.

Where There's Muck There's Brass.

"We're editing our collection of plastic bags."

Scavenging in the Recycling Bin

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

'This crocodile handbag never gets nicked!'