Scone Sleuth T-Shirts

"Hack into Acme Pie Company and get their recipe for blueberry scones."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

$1: Family Secrets

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Secretive Weigh In.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

The Complete Cycle.

'Dog got your clog?'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"I'm worried you're not getting enough fruit and vegetables."

Two men converse secretively

What can I get you? A lemonade, and a scone for my avatar. No way. You have an avatar? Sure. Who doesn't? It's the hip thing. But that's just a movie concept. You're living in an imaginary kid world, right? If you say so. Okay, so one lemonade and one pretend scone. Real scone. For my real avatar. Don't let it get to you. How come I don't have an avatar?!?! You're cruel, lady. Give me my $5. Best money I ever spent.

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"I write these in my manager's handwriting, so no one will hate me."

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'You must have something in my size?'

I don't trust that guy.

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

"Research tells me they found your DNA in the suggestion box."

One of the pyramids of giza has had its top stolen!

'It looks fishy to me.'

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

"I'll need a sticker per sock."