Scone Sleuth Pillows

"Hack into Acme Pie Company and get their recipe for blueberry scones."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

$1: Family Secrets

Secretive Weigh In.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

The Complete Cycle.

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'Dog got your clog?'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

Two men converse secretively

"I write these in my manager's handwriting, so no one will hate me."

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'You must have something in my size?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

I don't trust that guy.

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

One of the pyramids of giza has had its top stolen!

'It looks fishy to me.'

"Research tells me they found your DNA in the suggestion box."

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

"I'll need a sticker per sock."