Schoolwork Savant Gifts

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

Serious Putty

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

Child finding school too hard.

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

Vaccines against Covid

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

Study more to pass more tests.

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"My parents didn't write it--they just tweaked it."

Keep it simple

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

'And as further evidence of global warming, we have a front of fried eggs coming in from the north. . .'

"My dad ate my homework."

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."