School Life Savant Gifts

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

Nuclear generation of energy.

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"These latest surveys are very reassuring."

"It's going to be one of those days."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

Reuse it or lose it.

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'Doesn't bother me. All my money is in carbon-cleanup technologies.'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

Friends of the Earth

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

Industries with clean energy

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'