School Savior Gifts

"I want you to know that the school board is very pleased with your efforts to make this new budget work."

"I'm desperate to hold on to our good teachers."

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

"Ms. Carson is always willing to substitute on very short notice."

"There's some question as to how long we're going to be able to keep the lights on."

'You waved a white flag?2

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

'Rough day Principal Harris?'

"You want to borrow 1.2 million dollars to meet your school district's budget?"

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"It's going to be one of those days."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

S.O.S. vaccine

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'